


Honey Sweet Lies

by Heliosthetroll



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-13 11:24:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21243314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heliosthetroll/pseuds/Heliosthetroll
Summary: Deceit's always been good at calming Virgil down. Unfortunately, he hasn't had many chances to help since Virgil became a light side. But then he gets another chance and it changes everything for him.





	Honey Sweet Lies

When it came to Virgil’s panic attacks Patton was usually the first to know something was up. He was the heart after all when someone was distressed it was his job to know. But the thing about Virgil is he doesn’t like bothering people, especially his dear old ‘dad’. This led to well. Lies. Lies to himself about how he was feeling and what he needed. Repeating to himself as he panicked that he didn’t need Patton. He didn’t need to bother him. He was fine. He could take this alone. He was panicking but he didn’t need help. Thing is just like Patton had a second sense for distress someone else had a second sense for lies. Deceit. When someone lied he was the first to know. So with the constant lying to himself you can imagine that when Virgil wasn’t a draw for Patton well. He was a magnet for Deceit. 

Not that Deceit minded. Rather the opposite really. Whenever he’d get that telltale feeling that Virgil was lying to himself very intensely again he’d make sure he was hidden from the others and then go to him. If Patton was good at calming Virgil then Deceit was the master. It was hard not to be when he’d spent most of his existence with the other and spent a good chunk of that time helping him through panic. Especially after Creativity’s split had Remus coming to join them. 

While Patton had the praise and comfort and sweetness down pat there were some issues with him calming Virgil. For one he had a whole lot of energy and when Virgil was trying to calm down and be soothed that was not a good thing. For two he was very touchy-feely and depending on the nature of Virgil’s panic that was either a very very good thing or a very very bad thing. Then finally there was his habit of hiding his own emotions hence leading Virgil to worry he was being a bother. 

Deceit on the other hand? He had comfort and praise for Virgil down to an art form, even if his words were sometimes laced with lies and deception. On top of that he was much more reserved but no touch adverse leading to a nice balance where Virgil got to show if he was able to be touched before he was bombarded with affection without him having to worry about the other not liking or wanting to be touched themselves and he didn’t have to worry about the access energy Patton had. As for emotions? For all of Deceit’s lying it was never really a secret what he believed in and that was working for your own gain. Which meant if he was caring for Virgil it was because he wanted to, not because he felt he had to. 

Really if anything Deceit was better at comforting Virgil than even Patton was. The only issue was that now that Virgil wasn’t a dark side anymore he lacked trust in Deceit. Especially recently with all he’d been getting up to. He really can’t blame Virgil. He wouldn’t trust him either. But it can be frustrating to be trying to comfort the stormy male and have him not trust him just because he was known as Deceit. The thing about being Deceit though? He was the best at lying his way into things.   
So when the time comes that Virgil tells everyone he was a dark side and then he sinks out extremely anxious but trying to hide it Deceit instantly picks up on the lies and knows to keep an eye on the poor emo’s status. When extreme anxiety slips into a panic attack though Deceit is right there instantly. 

Virgil isn’t in his room which shows just how much he was trying to hide his anxiety. Instead, he’s slid down against a wall just around the corner from the common space. Deceit rushes to be there with him, getting on his knees in front of him but not crowding him by being too close and not reaching out to touch him. Instead, he sits back on his feet as he speaks to Virgil, posture calm and relaxed and composed like it always was even as worry and concern swirls within the depths of his eyes and heart and mind. “Virgil.” The words are gentle and sweet but firm, drawing Virgil’s attention to him while not showing even a lick of aggression towards him. Virgil looks up and eyes Deceit with wild scared eyes but Deceit continues calmly. “You’re going to be ok. No one is going to hurt you.” He doesn’t know if that’s true. Everyone knows how Patton treats the dark sides much less Roman and even Logan to some extent. And then there’s Thomas who has so much influence over them all. If Thomas saw Virgil as bad now then no matter how much Patton truly cared for Virgil it would be a moot point. Thomas’s morality would deem him bad and Patton was a representation of that morality. Still, Deceit continues his talking. “Nothing bad is going to happen. Your friends are all wonderfully good people and would never do anything to hurt you.” Those are just straight-up lies and he knew it all too well. Bad things would always happen to them. That’s just how things were. Nothing could stop that. They could only maximize their personal benefit from it. And as for his friends being good and never hurting him well… They tried but they weren’t always in tip-top shape. Any of them. 

Virgil was listening intently to everything Deceit said either by choice or because his anxiety wouldn’t let him not listen. It didn’t much matter to Deceit either way because he could see his words making improvements all be it small slow ones. Virgil’s panic was slowly lessening bit by bit as he assured him of his safety here and the happiness he and his friends would always have. Deceit continued with the soft sweet lies, letting his words become more gentle and less firm as he had to worry less and less about Virgil losing focus or running away from him. “You’re safe here. You will always be safe here. Everyone is your friend. They’ll accept you for who you are just as much as they did before. The past is the past and nothing more. You’re different and new and better now.” That last one was actually the complete truth. It mixed in well with the lies but it was honestly what Deceit believed. Ever since leaving him and Remus behind Virgil has been making so many improvements in himself and the others too. Thomas himself has even gotten better because of it. Virgil shared similar traits with who he was before but now he was truly someone new. 

Deceit knew Virgil wouldn’t initiate contact especially right now but he also knew how desperately the other yearned for the contact. So once he was certain Virgil would be ok with it he gently reached a hand out and placed it on Virgil’s shoulder. It was gentle and testing at first but as Virgil didn’t pull away, only flinched for a moment as his eyes darted to the hand before he relaxed once more slowly while Deceit continued to speak, Deceit allowed the hand to become more firm and comforting. He gave Virgil an anchor through his touch, something besides his words to focus on. Virgil was able to focus on the contact and just the gentle and sweet tone of Deceit’s voice and let the words and their meanings just wash right past him. Slowly he leaned more and more towards Deceit until the other smiled softly and gently adjusted to sit against the wall, allowing Virgil to sit between his legs and curl up in a ball against him. He let Virgil call the shots, let him decide what was most comfortable for him all while keeping up with his sweet little lies and assurances. 

Almost forty-five minutes had passed by now and the panic was almost gone but anxiety and emotional drain and depression took its place easily as Virgil leaned tiredly against Deceit. This meant it was time to switch tactics verbally. “This is good. It’s so comfortable. So relaxing.” Deceit almost murmured because of just how gentle and sweet his voice was. Virgil absentmindedly and tiredly nodded along with Deceit’s words, taking them to heart as if it was Logan stating some fact. Slowly his body loosened and calmed, letting Virgil relax. It was so familiar to them both but not from any time recently. It had been a while since Virgil had needed this from Deceit. Since he’d allowed any kind of positive interaction with Deceit. He’d missed it a lot. He could tell Virgil had too even if he insisted to himself he hadn’t. It felt nice to know he missed it too. 

Eventually, Virgil’s eyes fell shut, it had been about an hour and fifteen minutes since Deceit’s arrival at his side by then, and Deceit can tell he struggles to stay awake for a few moments before drifting off to sleep. It had been a long day for Virgil. A very stressful and emotional one too. Deceit couldn’t blame him for being drained and tired much less falling asleep curled up against his body. And for all his lies Deceit couldn’t say he minded Virgil’s warm body curled up in his arms resting like this. Deceit waited a bit then gently and carefully as to not wake Virgil reached up to gently brush his bangs away from his face a bit. He looked down at the peacefully sleeping face of Virgil and an explosion of deep fondness hit him square in the chest. Virgil looked so adorable like this all relaxed and calm for once. It was nice. He’d missed getting to see him like this. It had been so long since Virgil hadn’t been aggressive or nervous around him. So long since he’d gotten to see his smile. He wasn’t seeing it now but… It was about as good as he’d get and he knew it. As soon as Virgil woke up he’d be fleeing him. As soon as he was able to think rationally he’d be right back to hating him. Deceit knew this was true. Even if he hated it.

But for now, he’d just enjoy what he could get. He’d enjoy this small little moment where he got to have Virgil on his lap. Where he got to see him relaxed and calm. 

It was about two hours before Virgil awoke again but Deceit didn’t mind. It didn’t matter. He’d take all the time he could get really. When he did wake up it wasn’t quite as quickly or with as much fanfare as Deceit had been expecting. He simply groaned and sat up, lifting out of Deceit’s arms, and rubbed his eyes. He clearly wasn’t expecting there to still be eyeshadow there which of course smeared and got on his hands when he rubbed his eyes. It made him look like even more of a raccoon then before and Deceit had to hold back a chuckle at the cute goofiness of it. He blinked at his hands a few times when he saw the smear and the groaned before looking up and seeing Deceit. He tensed when he saw Deceit but he didn’t immediately flee like the liar had assumed he would. He just looked him up and down suspiciously. “I slept on you.” He says warily to which Deceit nods. Virgil stands slowly and Deceit stays seated. “Why did you calm me down and let me sleep on you?” Virgil says as he looks down at the kneeling half-snake man. “Because you needed it.” It’s not entirely the truth. There’s always some kind of selfish reasoning behind anything Deceit does. It’s who he is. Virgil narrows his eyes. “Uh-huh.” Deceit sighs. Well… Maybe if he’s honest about his intentions his plans can carry out smoother and… No. There’s no way he’ll ever earn Virgil’s trust back. But… But he can try. “I thought maybe if I calmed you down you might like me more especially since I noticed even when Patton didn’t.” Virgil seems surprised at Deceit’s honesty with him and shifts nervously at the answer he’s given.

“I… Well. Thanks. I guess.” Virgil grumbles, looking away from Deceit. Deceit is honestly a bit taken aback by the thanks. “Oh well. Of course.” He tries to play it off and finally gets to his feet which makes Virgil take a step back. They both stand there for a few moments, silent and unmoving. Deceit finally sighs and starts to sink out only to hear, “Wait.” Making him stop and come back, repopping up. He’s confused why Virgil told him to wait and watches the other closely, Virgil with his hand partially outstretched but quickly retreating back into a jacket pocket. Deceit tilts his head at Virgil and waits for him to speak. There’s a few moments pause and then finally Virgil does speak again.

“Want to… Want to watch Nightmare Before Christmas with me?” That movie used to be a real bonding movie for them and something they used to debate over together albeit in a friendly way but both enjoyed for similar reasons at the same time. And now Virgil was offering to watch it with Deceit. He was surprised but more than a little eager to have that chance to rebond with Virgil so he nodded. “Sure.” Virgil nodded back, seeming nervous and unsure. Virgil sinks out and Deceit takes it as an invitation to his room, something he hasn’t had for a while, so he sinks out to follow him there. 

Virgil rises up in his room and Deceit pops in there beside him and Virgil seems to relax just a little bit. Not much. But a little. His room is his safe space where others are affected but not him and he can be himself and be safe from the outside world. He likes it here even if it makes other people freak out. Deceit hasn’t been here for a while but he’s also used to the effects of the room much more than any of the light sides are, enough that the eyeshadow doesn’t become applied to him like it had the other sides when they’d visited. He had been here many times back when Virgil was on his side after all. So the effects don’t bother him as much as they would them. It does still make him a little bit more cautious and self-conscious though but he’s also practiced in masking and pretending so it’s easy to pretend the room has no effect at all. 

Virgil heads over to the couch and Deceit follows behind, Virgil sitting leaning against the armrest with his legs bent in front of him on the couch and Deceit sitting normally on the other side of the couch. Deceit placed his hands in his lap, fingers intertwined calmly as Virgil got the movie-going. But Deceit was paying less attention to the movie and more attention to Virgil. They’d both seen this movie enough times to know a lot of if not all the lines by heart anyway. Really Deceit’s main thought was that this was the first time he’d had a movie night with anyone but Remus, and those could barely count as movie nights, since Virgil had left him behind. Virgil seemed to be focusing on the screen as much as he could, like he was trying to forget Deceit was there despite having invited him himself. It kinda hurt Deceit really. But every once and a while he would glance over at Deceit, Deceit pretending to be watching the movie while observing him from the corner of his eyes whenever he did, and watch him instead for a few moments. Observing like he expected to turn and see Deceit about to attack him or something. But Deceit made no such move and had no plans to try anything at all really. He just sat and ‘watched’ the movie with Virgil all the way through to its completion. 

By then they both knew the other light sides would be starting to take notice that Virgil hadn’t shown up again since his big reveal to Thomas about his past and that they wouldn’t be happy if they found Deceit hanging around no matter what his reason for being there was. So Deceit turned to Virgil and with a mutual silent understanding like they hadn’t had in a long time Deceit sunk out and returned to his own room. 

Deceit quite liked his room. It was fairly simple but it followed Deceit’s style quite well and catered to some of the more unique things that came with him being part snake. The walls were painted black with a yellow border to all of them and the floor was black as well and the ceiling yellow. There weren’t too many decorations about and what was about was mostly a few yellow snake-themed objects like a mirror with a gold snake eating its tail as the frame and a very small snake plush on top of an analog clock. The room also contained a corner in which there was a bean bag chair that looked like a rock upon first glance with a scaled-up heating lamp beside it and had it been shedding season the room would’ve contained supplies for helping Deceit through that as well since his snake scales did shed just like any other snake’s scales would. 

Deceit decided today was a day in which he needed to relax after everything that had happened and that he’d been thinking so he grabbed a book to read and relax with before heading to his heated corner and sitting down under the light on the beanbag chair. He took a deep breath as he settled in and for a moment let his eyes shut as the warmth washed over his body. He wasn’t coldblooded like a normal snake but he did get cold quite easily, a reason for his many-layered clothing and gloves beyond just enjoying the style, so sitting under the heating lamp was still quite enjoyable on most days. He removed his hat and his gloves, carefully setting them aside on the carefully cleaned floor to rest until he was needed again, and opened his book to enjoy some relaxation time. 

The rest of the day and the beginning of the next seemed to go by mostly normally. Of course, Thomas was still somewhat drained from what had happened but his sleep schedule was back on track, allowing for a mostly ok day even in the morning. Virgil seemed better too after a rest and the day to fully realize that no, none of the sides nor Thomas hated or were abandoning him for his past. He was just as accepted as he was before despite his former dark side status. 

So it was a complete surprise to Deceit when he felt the unfamiliar, at least to him, tug of being summoned. He wasn’t summoned. He appeared because lying became involved in something or much more often because he choose to show up but he was not summoned. No one wanted him around after all. But now he was being summoned and when he appeared at the summoner’s location he saw Virgil was the one summoning him. But why? Why would Virgil of all people want him around? 

“Stop staring.” Virgil snaps, knocking Deceit out the surprised trance he’d been caught in for a few moments. He composes himself quickly and speaks. “What is that you wanted Virgil? I’m quite busy.” He lied. He hadn’t been doing jack shit but sunning himself under his heat lamp. What could he say it felt nice. “I…” Virgil began before shaking his head and turning his gaze away from Deceit. “Nevermind. Leave.” He said swiftly. Oh Virgil. So good at catching Deceit’s interest even when he doesn’t want to. Now he was curious. What was up with Virgil? “Oh but Virgil if there’s something wrong you usually contact Patton not me so of course there’s not anything wrong. Unless that something wrong is Patton.” Virgil swiftly looks back to Deceit and he has to resist smirking at how easily he’s manipulated. “No of course not Patton would never do anything wrong especially not to me.” “Then why not summon him?” Virgil opens his mouth for a moment then shut it then opened it again then shut it again and finally when he opened it yet again he finally said something. “Because you’re who I want to talk to right now.” 

Deceit had to admit that answer surprised him a bit. Wanting to talk to him? Needing to he could understand but wanting to? Why would Virgil want to talk to him of all people? He’d hated him not that long ago. Surely him calming him yesterday didn’t have that much of an impact right? He narrowed his eyes a bit but otherwise stayed composed. “Oh? Whatever about?” Virgil paused again, took a deep breath, and spoke without making eye contact with Deceit and instead staring at the ground. “I want to know what you felt when I… When I stopped being a dark side.” 

Deceit is even more surprised by this and honestly quite confused too. None of this was making any sense. But… Well if the topic was how he felt when Virgil left then he had plenty to say. “I felt betrayed.” He starts, Virgil looking up to watch him. Deceit kept his face composed as he spoke. “I had known you for so long and we were so close. It was me that kept you safe and me that kept you from just going along with whatever the norm was. It was me that kept you happy. But a few accepting meetings with a group of self-sacrificing idiots and suddenly you’re gone. Out of nowhere, you’re barely talking to me and when you do talk to me you’re getting mad at me for who I am. You’re getting mad at me for being Deceit and everything that comes with that name and that role. You hadn’t done that before. You used to love my lies and the way they calmed you. But suddenly you hated them because of what they told you and taught you. It… It hurt a lot. So I started getting mad. I started defending myself and trying to make all of you see what I was trying to do. But none of you listened. You still don’t. Well. Expect Remus but he doesn’t really understand, he just doesn’t care and is fine with listening to me rant and then offering his twisted solutions.” Deceit waves a hand dismissively. He was used to the twisted way Remus’s mind worked so it barely affected him anymore. If anything he could see some of the ways their minds were similar and what made them dark sides versus the light of everyone else. Virgil, on the other hand, shivered at the thought of Remus and his weird morbid ways. He’d never really liked or been able to handle Remus well even before becoming a light side. 

Virgil seemed… Guilty. He looked at Deceit with regret and guilt in his eyes and Deceit didn’t quite know how to handle it but kept his fake composure up as he stared into Virgil’s eyes. Sure enough, the eye contact got to Virgil and he looked down because of his anxiety which allowed Deceit to relax slightly. “I… I’m sorry Deceit. If anyone knows how painful it can be to be misunderstood or not accepted just because of who you are it’s me… I should’ve known better.” Deceit is surprised but shakes his head instantly. “Virgil you were influenced by the light sides and even Thomas himself. You didn’t have a way of knowing better. You just wanted to fit in and be liked, that’s all you’ve ever wanted.” Virgil shrugs and shifts a bit. “I guess… But still…” Deceit sighs. He’s used to Virgil’s self-deprecation to some degree but he knows it’s gotten much worse since he started to trust and listen to Patton and the other light sides more and more. 

“Virgil you are Anxiety not Logic. Nor are you Morality. It’s not your job to know better. Your job is to do what you can to keep Thomas safe as a fight or flight response.” Virgil looks up at Deceit again as the scaled side speaks. “Leave the more complicated ways of protecting Thomas to me Virgil. You focus on survival.” Virgil nods slowly in response to Deceit’s encouraging words and for a moment there’s silence between them. 

Finally, Virgil speaks again. “I missed you Deceit.” Deceit blinks a few times. He’s… Caught between shock and an understanding of why. Virgil had relied on him a lot back when he was a dark side. But to actually hear him say aloud that he missed him… It was a big thing and a complicated feeling. Virgil continues speaking to fill the void of sound when Deceit doesn’t reply verbally. “I didn’t really realize I missed you. I just knew that something… Something wasn’t right. Something was missing and I missed it deeply whatever it was. The thing that gave me confidence and strength. The thing that pushed me forward to keep doing what I did. The thing that helped me understand what my purpose in existing at all even was. The thing that calmed me down without me having to worry about my fears being a mistake or judged or anything like that. That thing was you Deceit. I don’t know why I forgot that for a while and abandoned you because I… I need you in my life. I really did miss you.”

The small speech gets more and more rushed and nervous as it continues and Virgil seems close to a level where he’ll draw Patton’s attention when Deceit finally speaks up. “I missed you too Virgil. I missed you deeply.” Virgil searches for even the barest trace of a lie but there is none. Deceit did miss Virgil. He really did. Virgil nods slowly and takes a small step forward and Deceit takes a larger one moments after, placing them just inches apart from one another. Both of them are quiet as they stare into each other’s eyes. They don’t really understand what’s going on between them and their emotions are a bit of a jumbled mess but they both know that they care for each other. It’s really just a matter of in what way. And of course if the other feels the same. 

Virgil suddenly sinks down, leaving Deceit alone. For a moment he fears that it’s his fault and he’s done something wrong but then he shakes his head clear and tries to focus in on Virgil for a moment. It’s a difficult task which is why he doesn’t do anything like this often but after a bit he manages to pinpoint him and hears a lie flit through his head that Patton wouldn’t help him and he calmed a bit. Virgil must’ve just recognized he was nervous enough that Patton would pick up on it and left to keep Deceit safe from Patton even if Patton really wasn’t a threat to Deceit in any way but making him frustrated. Virgil was so sweet. Deceit allowed him his time to relax with the pun-loving side and returned to his own room to think on things for a while.

It was a few days before Virgil and Deceit spoke again. Deceit wouldn’t say Virgil was avoiding him really but he wasn’t making any effort to contact him either. It almost was how things had been before their last two conversations. He figured Virgil just wanted some space to think about how much they had missed each other and what to do about it so Deceit granted him his desire and let him be, focusing on himself and his own tasks as usual instead. 

Then he felt the summoning tug again. And this time when he appeared it wasn’t just Virgil there. In fact, the only one not in the room was Remus and that was probably to keep him from making things too chaotic. Hell, they were even up in Thomas’s living room so the man himself was there with them. However the camera is nowhere in sight, so this isn’t a video. Deceit is confused as he stands next to Virgil and looks around at everyone there but acts composed and like he knows exactly what’s going on here. Roman doesn’t seem happy that Deceit is there which is a small bit surprising as he’s usually the light side least opposed to him and Patton seems uncomfortable and like he’s biting his tongue on something likely for the sake of others knowing him and Logan seems neutral at the moment. Deceit looks to Virgil last of all and sees that he seems nervous but determined. 

After a bit of silence Virgil finally speaks up. “Deceit we want to know what it is that you want from us.” Deceit is taken a bit aback but tries to maintain his composure. “I simply want what Thomas does.” Virgil sighs but Roman speaks before Virgil can. “Vague and mysterious as always. Virgil, you’re usually the one telling us not to trust him why are you asking him what he wants all of a sudden?” Virgil glares at Roman and it’s clear he’s already tried to explain this to them before. “Roman he’s a side too he’s a part of Thomas, just like I am.” “I don’t know what you’re trying to get at Gothic Nightmare.” Roman shoots back. “Now now kiddos let’s not fight,” Patton says, trying to calm the other two. Virgil sighs and shakes his head. “Just-” Deceit interrupts. “I know what he’s trying to say.” All eyes go from Virgil to Deceit just as he’d intended. All eyes on Virgil was never good for the guy’s anxiety. “Well, then it would be useful if you could share that information,” Logan said, adjusting his glasses. Deceit glances at Virgil who is watching him warily and then speaks calmly. 

“Virgil is trying to express that just like he was a dark side once I am one now.” “So?” Roman said, narrowing his eyes. Deceit sighed at his density but spoke again. “So if he was once seen as a threat but now isn’t then…” He prompts but Roman still seems completely in the dark. Patton seems to get it a little but not enough to really understand but Logan seems to understand perfectly. He always had been the biggest threat but also helper Deceit had when it came to making the rest of the light sides understand him. “I see. Virgil is attempting to have us draw you into the light like Patton did him.” Logan says, making it dawn on the other two as their eyes widen. “But why?” Roman said, looking back to Virgil. Virgil shrinks a bit self consciously. “Because he helped me.” “What?” Patton says, confused. “When did he help you?” “Before I was a light side and… When I told Thomas about being a dark side too.” Thomas who had been silently confused but watching is surprised as is Patton. “What?” Thomas says. Deceit watches Virgil carefully but he doesn’t expand on that point so Deceit keeps quiet on it too. “Point is if I wasn’t bad enough to shun then… Maybe he isn’t too.” Deceit can’t help but feel slightly fond of Virgil in this moment. He doubts his little plan will work and he knows Virgil is overthinking and doubting his every move too but it’s sweet all the same.

Then something Deceit never expected to happen happens. “Let’s hear him out,” Thomas said. “What?” Roman and Patton both said at the same time though Patton quieter than Roman. Thomas puts his hands up for a moment and Logan speaks. “Virgil makes a valid point. If one can be redeemed then why not another? It makes sense to let him say what his goals and wants are, however they would need to be filtered of lies and not a vague bundle of mysteries like what usually seems to come from Deceit.” Patton hesitates but Roman does not. “You cannot seriously be suggesting this pocket protector. Deceit has been proven bad twice now! He sent my brother on us!” Oh. So that was why Roman was so much more aggressively against him. That made sense. Logan sighs and adjusts his glasses. “You are correct in saying he’s made mistakes in the past but you used to think the same of Virgil that you do him now, did you not?” Roman stops and looks to Virgil who looks down to avoid his gaze. Both know that they’ll always fight but Logan is right that their fights used to be a whole lot less friendly bickering and a whole lot more you’re my worst enemy. Patton seems conflicted and to send attention away from himself for once Roman directs it onto Patton. “Patton surely you can see that while Virgil is alright Deceit is a whole other story. I mean Virgil is just Anxiety. Deceit is lies and deception you’re always against that!” “I… I don’t know kiddo. Logan and Virgil have good points and… Maybe he isn’t all bad?” Deceit is absolutely shocked by that to the point that it actually breaks his composure and his eyes widen as he stares at Patton. Virgil seems a little surprised too but nearly to the extent he is. Roman seems to be the only other one who gets how big of a deal this is. “What? Patton, he’s Deceit!” “Yeah but… He doesn’t always lie so if we can get a straight answer of what he wants… Maybe we can all get along?” Roman sputters but he’s thoroughly defeated and so he huffs and crosses his arms before attention is sent back to Deceit and Thomas speaks again. “So… What do you want Deceit?”

Deceit knew this answer decided his fate and it worried him immensely. If he answered this wrong he’d be forever outcasted and fought against. Forever the villain. He had to answer correctly. But what was the right answer? The truth? A lie? A mix of the two? Deceit deliberated this as he looked over the intently watching group. Then his eyes landed on Virgil and… He knew what he had to do. He had to tell the truth.

“I want to be selfish. I want Thomas to have what’s best for him even at the expense of others. His wants are more important than theirs to me. I want him to take whatever he wants and do whatever he wants and not feel guilty for it just because society says he should. I want him to do things for himself every once and a while and if that takes lying and manipulating and hiding things even from himself to accomplish then so be it.” Deceit says plainly, making eye contact with each of the onlookers slowly as he spoke until finally he was staring into Thomas’s eyes. “I’m willing to do what it takes. I’ve got plans upon plans to make things better for Thomas. I want to be listened to and not cast out or called the villain and ignored. I want Thomas to be happy, just like all of the rest of you do.” A final sweep around the group and he went silent, finished with his confession of what he truly wanted. 

They all stared at him for a long moment and he began to wonder what they all were going to do. Roman seemed conflicted now alongside Patton and Thomas seemed understanding but still concerned but Logan was completely unreadable except for a kind of thoughtfulness to him. Virgil on the other hand… Virgil looked guilty and it took a moment for Deceit to understand why. Virgil was a driving force in Thomas’s self-sacrificing nature. He always had been. Obeying others and doing what they wanted kept them happy and if they were happy they were less likely to hurt Thomas. That was always Virgil’s mindset. It wasn’t always a good mindset. But it was Virgil’s mindset all the same. And Deceit was showing plainly how much he disagreed with it. Virgil probably thought he was hurting him or holding him back. Deceit frowns deeply but this isn’t the place to bring it up. He won’t embarrass Virgil like that, that’ll only make things worse. 

Finally, someone speaks. “I think that’s a reasonable desire to have,” Logan says, calm and with carefully calculated words. Logan seemed to anticipate being interrupted though no one opened their mouths so he swiftly spoke again. “It makes sense for you to want Thomas to be successful just as Roman or I do and it makes sense that you want him to be happy like Patton does and safe like Virgil does.” As each side is mentioned, minus Virgil who was already well aware of their similar roles though he got a similar look as the other three were mentioned, there was a moment of surprised comprehension that came to their faces. “You just have a sometimes unhelpful way of trying to achieve that goal. Your intentions are good but methods are not always the same.” Logan looks around at the others and slowly Patton speaks up. “Maybe we can help find some better ways for you to communicate things and help Thomas?” Logan nodded and Patton seemed to take some comfort in that. 

There was a bit more discussion but at this point, Deceit zoned out a bit. He honestly couldn’t believe this was happening. Not only was he being tolerated and listened to but he was being accepted, kinda at least, and they were trying to help him. He was amazed really. So much had changed just because he’d helped Virgil once which he would have done no matter what it would have caused. Honestly, he hadn’t expected it to do much of anything. But now here he was having pretty much his entire life changed for him because of it. 

He looked to Virgil to find him staring back at him intently. He blushed a bit in embarrassment as Deceit caught him and quickly looked down as Deceit tilted his head in curious confusion. What was up with that?

A little while longer passed before people seemed satisfied with the conclusion they came to and started saying their goodbyes to Thomas and each other and sinking out. Roman then Patton and finally Logan leaving behind just Virgil and Deceit. They hung around for a bit longer before Virgil sunk out and Deceit followed behind without a word. 

He expected to be alone in his room when he arrived but instead he was a bit startled by the presence of Virgil in the room already when he popped into existence there. “Virgil? What are you doing here?” Virgil shifted nervously and didn’t seem able to make eye contact with Deceit but wasn’t near an anxiety attack or anything which was good. But what was wrong? What was making him so nervous? Everything had gone well. Fantastic even. ...Was his goal not to have Deceit brought into the group like he said it was or something? Deceit hoped not. He really wanted to get along with Virgil again. 

“I… I need to talk to you. Without anyone else being able to overhear or sense what’s going on. And I know your room acts as a kind of muffler so…” Yeah. His room was always a good hiding spot. Virgil used to love that about it. Maybe he still did. His room acted as the perfect place for secrets. But what use did Virgil have for it right now? “Alright, what did you need to talk to me about?” Deceit says cautiously. “I needed to talk to you about… About us.” Deceit raised an eyebrow, Virgil becoming more anxious by the second. “What do you mean?” Deceit pressed gently. Virgil swallowed hard. “I mean… I think I like you.” Deceit is confused but it makes him happy to hear that Virgil likes him again. Has forgiven him for the issues he’s caused in the past out of frustration and anger. “Well, I’m glad you’ve forgiven me, Virgil.” “That’s… Ugh. That’s not what I meant.” Deceit furrows his eyebrows and Virgil runs a hand through his hair. “Then… What did you mean?” Virgil paused for a long time before looking down at the ground and finally saying it so fast Deceit almost misses what he says.

“I meant I love you.” 

Deceit’s eyes go wide with shock and he stares at Virgil as a million thoughts go through his head all at the same time so quickly and in such numbers it’s almost impossible to pick any of them out before they’re gone. Deceit’s silence seems to make Virgil near a panic with deep regret and pain in him as well as he probably assumes he’s going to be rejected and starts to sink down to retreat on reflex. Deceit panics and blurts, “Wait I love you too.” In a desperate attempt to make him stay. Virgil instantly stops and slowly rises back up with wide shocked eyes in response to Deceit’s words which honestly for a moment he didn’t even know if were the truth. 

But then he thought about it for a bit and realized yeah. They were true. He did love Virgil. He wanted so very deeply and desperately to keep him safe and happy in any way he could. He wanted to protect and care for him so much. But beyond that, he wanted to spend time with him. He wanted to sit on the couch with him cuddling and watching Tim Burton movies for hours. He wanted to criticize Disney movies with him. He wanted to poke fun at people with him. He wanted to talk to him. He wanted to hold him. He wanted to sit and watch the sunset from the comfort of their shared bed with Virgil wrapped up in his arms and leaning against his chest as he sleeps peacefully with fluffy warm blankets covering them both. He wanted to gently brush aside his bangs and see those expressive eyes of his. He wanted to kiss him. He loved Virgil. He really did. 

“Y-you love me?” Virgil stammered out to which Deceit nodded and quickly walked closer to Virgil so they were only inches apart. “I do. With all my heart.” Deceit said. Virgil looked over him carefully, clearly nervous and searching for lies. He tried to be as obvious as he could that this was the truth but he knew it was hard for Virgil to believe him. Lying was his job after all, especially when it came to things that could be beneficial to him like having a relationship with Virgil. It would probably take a while for Virgil to trust him fully on it. But he hoped to god he trusted him enough right now to at least try to be with him. He wanted that. He wanted that so badly. 

“I... Does that mean you want…?” “To be with you? Yes. It does.” Deceit says to which Virgil nods slowly. “Well… We can try dating?” Deceit feels his heart sing so much he’s lucky he’s in his room or Roman might’ve picked up on it. He tries his best to keep composed but a wide grin spreads across his face anyway. “Wonderful.” He says and he supposes his reaction must be infectious because Virgil smiles a bit too. “Yeah. Wonderful.”


End file.
